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Birth Mother Survey
After your own experience of placing a child for adoption, what would you like to tell or suggest to...
"Even if you agree to keep contact with the birth parent(s) only at certain times of the year, please be generous with news, events, picture, and details. Some of us care very much what person her child develops into."
"In my experience, the adoptive parents donated money to get counseling for myself to deal with the adoption and any other problems I was having. This was very helpful."
"I would like to tell other adoptive parents to support and be there for the birth parents. Let them have pictures and visit every once in a while. That really helped me through the process."
"Remember you are 'sharing' the child. The child will have two families and you are the second one. Do not adopt if you cannot have an open adoption. Adoption is forever. Everyday! Always!"
"Always, always leave the door open. Get an option, in writing, to be able to choose to see or contact your child. I didn't and now I live every day in regret."
"For me, I was anti-adoption. Meeting people who had good hearts and specialized in this field changed my mind. Now both my baby and I can live our lives."
"Get through all of the other issues besides the adoption before you make your decisions, and always be sure."
"While giving your child up, I know it is very emotional, but keep talking to the adoptive parents about your feelings and it will help. You'll get through it, trust me."
"Be curious. Ask questions. Find out what/where your roots are. They're important as part of your identity. Some of the facts you find may not be pretty or ideal, so have courage."
"Your hearts are in the right place. This society we live in today is difficult. Children deserve better, and families like yours also deserve to have a child."
"Be strong. Don't exclude your adoptive parents. Try to understand your birth parents' decision. We love you."
"As you grow up, always know that your adoptive parents and birth parents love you. I was adopted myself and didn't get the privilege to know my birth mother. You're special. Your parents picked you and you have loving birth parents at the same time."
"This needs to be an 'addition game.' You are blessed with more love and people who care about you. Welcome it. Do not fight it."
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