I have a funny thing about newspaper want ads. Even after I get the job or buy the car I was looking for, I still keep reading the ads. I'm the same way about baby-naming, too. After my daughter was born (and named), I couldn't stop trying out names. But by then I was thinking about what I'd name baby #2.

Not that I'm sure there's even going to be a baby #2. Since the first moment I started thinking about having one child, I started wondering about two. Did I want to adopt two children at the same time? Did I want to have two infants (at different times); an infant and an older child; or two older children? If I adopted them at different times, how far apart did I want them to be spaced in age and adoption? Did I even want two children? Among all of the decisions I've had to make during the adoption and parenting process, this has proved to be one of the most difficult.

I'm not even sure what criteria I should be, or want to be, using. Some of the factors I've considered are:

• Money: As I'm a single parent who's not independently wealthy, my daughter goes to day care while I work. Having two children in day care would cost about $1,000/month in the area where I live. Ouch!

• Energy: I'm not getting any younger.

• Giving my daughter a playmate during her growing up years: Or, perhaps, a fight-mate.

• Time: My daughter and I have such a special relationship now. Would another child dilute that? Or add to it? Would I have enough time for two children? Would my daughter benefit from seeing me love another child, too?

• Extended family: I'd like to think of my daughter as having more family to connect with when she's an adult. Of course, some siblings grow up to be friends, and some grow up to hate each other. It would be so nice to have a guarantee.

On the last count, regarding extended family.... well, my daughter already has extended family. Beyond the usual array of aunts, uncles, and cousins, she has a birth mother, birth grandmother, birth aunt and two birth siblings. At the moment, my two year-old daughter has met none of them (that she'd remember), but she sees pictures of them and perhaps one day they'll all meet. In the meantime, I plan to keep her aware of their existence. So I wonder, will these people give my daughter that sense of extended family - that is, people whom she knows she can count on throughout her life? Again, it would be so nice to have a guarantee.

This spring I had the shock of learning that I could no longer buy clothes for my daughter in the infant department. I look at her crib, her toys, her bassinet, her clothes, and I can't bear for them to not be used again. But then again, there's the time, the money, the energy, another child would require....

When I was making all of the difficult decisions that resulted in my first adoption, a friend told me to just let go of the agony I was subjecting myself to - that something magical would happen.

Perhaps it's time to let go again.

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