June 4, 1992

Dear Pact Press Editor:

Shortly after Mother's Day, the following letter to the editor ran in our local newspaper, The Santa Rosa Press Democrat. As an adoptive parent, I was touched by the author's compassion and respect for birth mothers. I'm grateful to Ms. Warych for taking the time to prepare such a compelling letter. Her words not only pay tribute to birth mothers but portray adoption in a positive way. And they gave me an idea.

When I wanted to become a parent but couldn't, Mother's Day was the worst of holidays. Now that an extraordinary young woman, my son's birth mother, has made me a mother, Mother's Day is glorious. When I asked, she said it was a hard, hard day for her.

I acknowledge the day by sending our birth mother a special card or letter. But I will do more. I will write letters to the editor and tell the world how I feel about her and about all birth mothers - women who know better than anyone the sacrifice of love.

It's a simple thing each of us, and even extended family members, can do - pen a letter to the editor on Mother's Day and on Father's Day; on other holidays, too. The benefits will be threefold: We'll feel good inside; readers will gain a little insight into adoption and a birth mother's courageous role; and we can use the letters, published or not, as tools to show our children how much we value their birth parents. Thank you, Jacki, for yet another gift in the unpredictable and wonderful adventure called motherhood!

Sincerely,
Janet Herring-Sherman
Santa Rosa, California

Editor:

On Mother's Day, my mind was drawn to a special group of mothers who are often misunderstood - birth mothers who choose to place their children for adoption. It is a brave decision for a woman to carry a child for nine months, experience labor and deliver a child, knowing that after giving this child the gift of life, she will be entrusting that life with adoptive parents.

Why would a woman make this decision? Sometimes it is because of her religious beliefs, sometimes it is because she recognizes that this child is a unique little person who will never exist again in the history of the human race. Although she is not in the position to raise this child herself, she wants him/her to have the best possible life. She is aware that there are many childless couples who would love to give her baby a home and that they are carefully screened before being approved.

Adoption is a creative arrangement. One couple has conceived a baby but cannot care for the child while the other couple cannot conceive but deeply wants to be parents.

Birth mothers and adoptive mothers share a special bond even if they have never met. On behalf of adoptive mothers, I wish birth mothers a "Happy Mother's Day" and thank you for making this day possible for us and our children.

J in Willits, California

Copyright ©1998-2008 by Pact, An Adoption Alliance
http://www.pactadopt.org
info@pactadopt.org