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Adoptive family For years adoption was treated as a secret that was best not talked about. The problem with secrecy is that it leads to a sense of shame, and since children are concrete thinkers they are too often at risk of internalizing the sense of shame that is associated with adoption. Understanding how to avoid shame and secrecy while protecting everyone’s privacy raised issues that are unique to adoption. These articles offer stories of adoptees’ personal experiences, along with expert advice and suggestions for how to handle difficult beginnings, as well as who to tell what.

If your family includes adopted children of color, Pact is available to help you sort through the minefield of secrecy and shame that is too often a part of adoption. We know that it is essential to the long-term health of families to find ways to combat the impact of shame that otherwise can undermine adoptees sense of self-esteem and pride. Pact offers pre-placement consultations and placement services for prospective parents who are looking to adopt a child of color as their first choice. We also offer support for adoptive parents who have already adopted (or are considering adopting) children of color through our online chat groups, our educational workshops and conferences, our nationally acclaimed Pact Family Camp, one-on-one consultations focused on the special issues inherent to adoptive parenting, and regional parent-organized affiliates in Northern California, Southern California, and throughout the U.S. Become a member of Pact to take advantage of all these resources and to receive our newsletter, Pact’s Point of View, which features many articles on intersection of adoption, race, and parenting. Pact members receive a discount at our online bookstore, which features great reads on this topic carefully selected for both adults and kids of all ages. We also recommend blogs and other online resources that we believe have the very best advice and information for adoptive families of children of color about adoption, race, and parenting.

Click to view videos related to Shame and Secrecy in Adoption.

For more topics and articles, check out our full listing on our Resource Library. If you prefer, you can use our Library Search Tool to search by title or author. All the material in this section is copyrighted by Pact; for permission to reproduce or re-post it, please contact us at education@pactadopt.org.


Shame and Secrecy in Adoption Articles



Shame and Secrecy in Adoption Videos

Secrecy Versus Privacy when Talking about Adoption

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Responding to Intrusive Questions from Strangers

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The Importance of Talking About Birth Parents

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Infertility & Adoption: Parents' Needs vs. the Child's Needs

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