Parenting Books for Adults

Parenting From the Inside Out
by Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell
$14.95
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and early childhood educator Mary Hartzell, M. Ed., explore the extent to which our childhood experiences shape the way that we parent. Drawing upon stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories that will help them raise compassionate and resilient children.

Pact says: Highly relevant to adoptive families, Parenting from the Inside Out guides parents
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Different and Wonderful: Raising Black Children in a Race-Conscious Society
by Darlene & Derek Hopson
$22.95
Written by African American psychologists, this book offers a positive and realistic approach toward preparing African American children to become positive, productive and self-respecting. Chapters focus on modeling, racial identification, sexuality, day-care and family relations. Written by African American psychologists, the book also serves as an insiders view of African American's talking to each other about their parenting concerns.

Pact says: This direct and clear book offers a positive and realistic approach toward preparing African American children to become positive, productive and self-respecting.
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Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
A Sourcebook of Strategies for the First Five Years
By Laura Davis & Janis Keyser
$20.00
This book offers a developmental approach for both children and parents. Provides parents with energy to explore, experiment and grow along with their kids. The authors examine both the needs of children and the feelings of parents. Dealing particularly well with the topic of kids who push limits, the authors suggest practical means for responding calmly and effectively to potentially disruptive behaviors.

Pact says: Thought-provoking, challenging and enriching, a great resource for every new and not-so-new parent's shelf.
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Attachment Parenting
by William and Martha Sears
$13.95
A commonsense guide to understanding and nurturing your baby, Attachment Parenting encourages early, strong, and sustained attention to the new baby's needs and this book outlines the steps that will create the most lasting bonds between parents and their children. Practical and provocative these ideas, the heart of the Sears' parenting creed, is one every new parent should think about. Suggestions are appropriate for older children who are of a younger emotional than chronological age.

Pact says: A great resource for parents although the tone is sometimes a bit prescriptive.
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Kids, Parents & Power Struggles
by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
$13.95
Drawing on her clinical experience with families, Kurcinka builds up an image of the parent as an "emotion coach," whose role is to build a strong, connected "team" by understanding the players' strengths and weaknesses and showing by instruction and example how best to play the game. The techniques she outlines are useful for children of any age.

Pact says: Kurcinka's book gives a concise, practical, and oftenhumorous account of how to achieve family harmony. Kurcinka doesn't promise miracle cures or overnightsuccess, but offers creative techniques for using power struggles as pathways to better understanding within any family.
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Mind At A Time, A
by Mel Levine
$15.95
It would be wonderful if all children learned at the same rate and possessed the same aptitude for learning; however, each child is a unique individual. The educational system today does not recognize this. Levine believes children have different ways of learning and defines eight mind systems (attention, memory, language, spatial ordering, sequential ordering, motor, higher thinking, and social thinking)and strategies for using them. Detailed steps describe how mental processes (like problem solving) work for capable kids, and how they can be finessed to serve those who struggle. Teach planning, stop telling kids they don't try hard enough, and never allow a child to be humiliated in school are part of his approach. .

Pact says: A great resource for parents of kids with learning difficulties.
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Raising Your Spirited Child
by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
$14.95
Children who are more intense, perceptive and persistent may also be less adaptable, have more energy, and exhibit more difficult behavior. This optimistic book offers support and practical advice to parents raising spirited children. The author advises "progress, not perfection".

Pact says: The engaging writing clearly presents practical skills for parenting. Highly recommended to parents of adopted children, many of whom act out their feelings about their core experiences by having difficulty with transitions, testing authority, fighting bedtime, and a range of behaviors discussed by the author. A Pact bestseller.
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Sticks and Stones: (7 ways Your Child Can Deal with Teasing)
by Scott Cooper
$13.00
This book gives parents tips on how to teach their children basic communication skills to deflect or diffuse conflict. This handbook is the best we have found for teaching positive communication and conflict resolution that will be useful to kids throughout their lives. Use "I" messages. If you can side-step a verbal conflict, do it. Say things that will let the other person know that you have heard what he or she has said (even if you don't agree with it). It also offers kids words to use to stand up for themselves and hold their own ground without giving in: "I know that's what you think, but I don't agree."

Pact says: The difficulty with the book is that these very simple communication techniques are presented through a confusing metaphor as the author labels the techniques using habits of particular birds -- thus, assertive self expression is taught as "The Way of the Blue Jay." Unless a child is familiar with birds, or drawn to learning about them, this presentation will probably get in the way of tessons being taught. Nonetheless, the book does a good job of letting parents know exactly what will be helpful to kids.
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Heart of Parenting, The: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
by John Gottman
$17.95
In this guide to teaching children to understand their own emotions, the author proposes a five-step process of "Emotion Coaching" to develop a skill the author defines as "emotional intelligence." He argues that children who learn to master their emotions are more self-confident and more likely to be emotionally healthy.

Pact says: In adoptive families, being able to express and deal with difficult emotions is extremely important, for both parents and kids. The book's guide for how to empathize with your kids and how to talk with them about hard feelings like fear, sadness and anger is a tremendously helpful tool. Be aware that the book's chapter titled "The Father's Crucial Role" is dated, but the book's value far outweighs this weakness.
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Temperament Tools
Working With Your Child's Inborn Traits
By Helen Nelville & Diane Clark Johnson, Illustrated by Dave Garbot
$14.95
Research shows that temperament is something we are born with. When you understand what makes your adopted child tick, you can adapt your parenting style to your child's individual needs, making your job much easier.

This book is a very hands on practical approach to understanding children's temperament and how it influences their behavior, giving parents really helpful tools for understanding and responding to what often feels like challenging behavior.
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Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is
by Abigail Garner
$13.95
The author, who was herself raised by her gay dad and his partner interviewed over fifty adults in their 20's and 30's who had gay or lesbian parents. She offers an insiders' perspective on what it is like to grow up in an LGBT family, covering topics like coming out, how kids talk about (or hide) their LGBT parents, kids' experiences at school, how the children develop their own sexual identity, HIV/AIDS, and family breakup.

Pact says: This book is a must read for LGBT parents. he refreshingly acknowledges the challenges as well as the joys faced by kids and gives their parents and others who work with them some invaluable information.
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Identity Trap: Saving Our Teens from Themselves
By Joseph Nowinski
$22.00
Violent behavior. Eating disorders. Drug use and drinking. These are just some of the scary behaviors that are explored in this book. What is groundbreaking and particularly relevant to adopted teens, is the authors premise that the answer and solution to problematic behavior in children lies in their quest for identity. Dr. Nowinski offers explanations of how identity exploration leads teens to fall prey to their own worst impusles as well as solutions for parents seeking to help their children get to the root of their search and helping them to stop the destructive or harmful behavior rather than push them further into it.

Pact says: This book is highly relevant to adoptive families of teens and pre-teens because it focuses on one of the core issues that all adopted teens face, resolution of their own complex identity.
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Myth of Laziness
By Mel Levine
$15.00
America's top learning expert shows how kids - and parents- can become more productive. Dr. Levine shows that children who are labeled lazy or unproductive usually suffer from what he calls "output failure" - a neurodevelopmental dysfunction that can continue to cause difficulties into adulthood if left unchecked. Practical, wise and compassionate, the book offers parents day-to-day strategies to help their children become productive.

Pact says: Dr. Levine offers real insight and hope for kids and families facing learning disabilities because he focuses on ways to succeed rather than ways to fail.
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Mama Rock's Rules
by Rose Rock
$22.95
Ten Lessons for Raising a Houseful of Successful Children. Although she's done raising her 10 kids (including her son Chris Rock) and caring for 17 foster children, this mom has never stopped giving advice. Divided into chapters like "I Am Your Mama, Not Your Friend," "No Child Really Wants to be Left Alone," and "Feed Them and They Will Tell You Everything," Rose's rules are sensible and well illustrated, embracing traditional values like discipline, everyday spirituality and togetherness.

Pact say: Practical and fun, Rose Rock shares her no-nonsense approach to parenting.

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
$15.99
An excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by the authors. Faber and Mazlish provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships with your child. The â01CReminderâ01D pages, helpful cartoon illustrations, and excellent exercises will improve your ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. The book can be used alone or in parenting groups, and the solid tools provided are appropriate for kids of all ages.

Pact says: This book has great practical suggestions and models conversations and scenarios for practice.
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Yes, Your Teen is Crazy! Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind
by Michael Bradley
$14.95
A funny, blunt, and reassuring book. psychologist Bradley uses current brain research, he points out that the most sophisticated parts of the mind are not developed until the end of adolescence and that parents are still the most influential force in their kids' lives. Overall, the message is that kids can become fine people even if they screw up a lot,Using crisp, believable anecdotes that are alternately poignant and hysterically funny, Bradley homes in on real-life scenarios, showing parents, for instance, how to respond when their teen is "raging," and how to set curfews and limits.

Pact says: Bradley draws a vivid picture of what the teen is going through, and gives parents the tools to be effective parents.
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