Adoption Books for Adults

Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families
by Patricia Irwin Johnston
$26.95
This book explores the process of adopting as an emotional journey that begins with infertility and takes the reader through the decision making, preparation and experience of adopting. Pat does a great job of looking at the deeper issues and acknowledging the complexity of feelings and experience that are all part of adoption today. If you are not infertile or a single parent, don't be put off by the focus on couples communication and the grief of infertility in the first section, the other sections are well worth the read.

Pact says: Pat is a good writer and well organized as she addresses the issues faced by adopting families. No one speaks more clearly or directly to and for this group. Required reading for waiting Pact families.
Quantity

Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming America
by Adam Pertman
$16.95
In this revised edition of Adam Pertman's award-winning book, first published in 2000, readers will find updated information on every aspect of adoption and its changing role in American society. Pertman suggests ways our laws should be changed to improve the adoption process and remove the obstacles that keep the children who most need permanent homes from getting them.

Pact says: Pertman, a Pulitzer-prize nominated journalist, argues against adoptions for profit, points out common stereotypes about what adoption is and suggests positive ways that he believes adoption is changing society.

Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections
edited by Jean MacLeod and Sheena McRae
$29.95
A manual for adoptive parents that covers the ages from "birth through pre-adolescence," this book offers articles (most of which are relatively brief) from many different contributors on a very wide variety of topics relevant to parenting an adopted child, with an emphasis on topics relevant to parenting the internationally adopted child. Many of the articles are accompanied by a list of resources for further reading.

Pact says: The book's best use for parents, then, seems to be as a reference tool that will help them understand that what is going on for their child may well be an issue other adoptive parents have faced, and that there is information out there about how to handle it.

Quantity

Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption
by Patricia Dischler
$16.95
This unique blend of Patricia's personal story (20 years post-placement) combined with her advice and research as to what expectant parents considering an adoption can anticipate at each stage of the process is very helpful because it goes beyond the placement to adulthood of the child placed for adoption. Patricia is careful to a fault not to overstep her boundaries by trespassing on her son's adoptive mother's territory, and she is thoughtful and articulate in her advice and insight.

Pact says: The combination of personal and professional is refreshing and helpful. An engaging read.
Quantity

Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
by David Brodzinsky
$14.00
Emphasizing adoption issues as viewed "through the eyes of adopted people," this book offers a sensitive and intelligent guide to developmental perspectives, normality, individuality, search for self, and loss, illustrating common passages and probing complex issues. Without suggesting that adoption is an endless "wound," the authors do argue that adoption is "an issue that emerges, seems to be settled, and then reemerges at some later point along life's path."

Pact says: Excellent. This book is a powerful tool for all adoptive families, at any stage of pre or post-adoption. Blending theory, practicality and sensitivity, the author creates a clear understanding of the impact of an original separation from birth mom (even at the moment of birth) and provides clear and realistic structure for growing strong families. Normalizes developmental stages of growth for those who have been adopted. This is an evocative but straightforward book that is very popular with Pact families.
Quantity

Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens
By Debbie Riley & John Meeks
$19.95
This book gives clinicians and therapists insight into adopted teens and is an important new contribution to the field of adoption. Adopted teens are facing complex issues that require therapists and clinicians who are educated about their unique struggles. The authors identify six adolescent "stuck spots" and discuss some of the ways that therapists and parents can help children process the issues when they arise.

Pact says: Directed to clinicians, this book is very useful to parents as well - offering insight into what adopted teens are feeling. Excellent resource!
Quantity

Brothers and Sisters In Adoption
by Arletta James
$30.00
Helping children Navigate Relationships when new kids join the family Aimed at parents as well as pediatricians and adoption and mental health professionals, this tour de force book covers an unprecedented range of issues. Despite the title's emphasis on siblings, this book is actually a great resource for all adoptive parents, it addresses all the "tough" issues with compassion and treats the whole family, a rarity in adoption literature.

Pact says: A fat book that contains much to ponder and re-read at different ages and stages of parenting. If pediatricians, therapists, adoption professionals and parents were going to read only one non-clinical book on adoptive parenting issues, this would be a good choice.
Quantity

Child's Journey Through Placement, A
by Vera Fahlberg
$20.00
Understanding and supporting the child who has been placed in foster care or residential treatment. This book provides help for parents (birth, foster, and adoptive) and professionals (therapists, social workers, pediatricians, volunteers, and child advocates) supporting children who have experienced out-of-home care. Includes chapters on attachment and separation; child development; separation and loss; minimizing the trauma of moves; case planning; behavior problems; and direct work with children.

Pact says: A classic and a Pact best seller. Highly recommended.
Quantity

English American, The
by Allison Larkin
$24.00
Never overly negative or treating adoption as if it is a disease, Alison shares great insights into some of the ways that adoption impacts our experience in the world and the way we look at things. This novel is perfect for anybody wanting to explore the journey of an adoptee and the honest feelings that it includes. With an authentic adopted heroine at its center, Larkin's compulsively readable first novel unearths universal truths about love, identity, and family with wit, warmth, and heart.

Pact says: A laugh-out-loud, cry-because-you-care kind of read. Really worthwhile.
Quantity

Family of Adoption, The
by Joyce Maguire Pavao
$16.00
An international expert as well as an adopted person, Joyce offers one of the clearest voices in the world of adoption, describing the deeper truths that often go unspoken. Reading her book is like listening to a wise friend; she links her personal experience with knowledge gleaned from many disciplines creating that elusive "ah ha" experience. If you do not know her work, we envy you your first read.

Pact says: Reading Joyce Pavao's book is like listening to a wise friend; she links her personal experience with knowledge gleaned from many disciplines creating that elusive "ah ha" experience. If you do not know her work, we envy you your first read.
Quantity

Healing Parents: Helping Wounded Children Learn to Trust & Love
by Michael Orlans, Terry M. Levy
$34.95
This book will be helpful to any parent who is struggling with parenting a "difficult" child. The author's philosophy is that a secure attachment provides the groundwork for a child's healthy sense of self, healthy relationships with others, and positive behavior.

Pact says: This book offers parents support in understanding and addressing issues, rather than didactic parenting prescriptions. The information will be a welcome relief to any parent who is facing a child's seemingly intractable behavior problems.

How To Open An Adoption
by Patricia Martinez Dorner
$14.95
A guide toward opening adoptions for adoptive parents, birth parents of minors and professionals. This book covers the benefits of opening adoptions; the issues raised if the request is initiated by adoptive parents or birth parents; professional help; preparation for contact; the first visit; the role of commitment of all the adults; when there is inequality among adoptive siblings; reopening open adoptions and more.

Pact says: Adopted children shouldn't have to wait until they are 18 years old to have their questions answered. Contact between birth parents and their adopted child allows the children to ask their questions directly and receive answers from the source.
Quantity

Learning the Dance of Attachment
by Holly van Gulden & Charlotte Vick
$20.00
A small book that packs a huge punch. Filled with practical advice and specific suggestions for how to enhance attachment in children of all ages, this books is popular for all families that have worked with Holly or know her work. As a parent herself, Holly understands that attachment is a lifelong process of learning to trust and believe in the relationship of adoption.

Pact says: The suggestions in this book give parents and children real encouragement as they solidify their mutual attachment, which leads to children behaving better and parents feeling confident. Really helpful, especially for families with challenging children.
Quantity

Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties Through Open Adoption
by Micky Duxbury
$19.95
Micky, a therapist as well as an adoptive parent (and Pact member!), interviewed hundreds of triad members about their life stories and experiences with open adoption. Her book helps both adoptive and birth parents address their fears and concerns while offering them the support to put the childâ019s needs at the center of adoption. Based on interviews with over one hundred adopted children, birth and adoptive parents, extended family, professionals and experts, this book is an effective and invaluable resource.

Pact says: There is no other book that offers a compilation of first hand stories of families living with open adoption. Kudos!
Quantity

Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma
by Deborah Gray
$24.00
With higher and higher percentages of children joining their families through adoption, both parents and the professionals with whom they consult need new skills. From the author of Attaching in Adoption (a former Pact favorite!) comes this new tool designed to help placement professionals and therapists understand adoption, attachment and research on the impact of neglect, abuse, early trauma, and institutionalization on the developing brains of children can guide their practices in new directions.

Pact says: We recommend it for parents who want to practice therapeutic parenting strategies as well.

Open Adoption Experience, The
by Lois Melina & Sharon Kaplan Roszia
$15.00
This book covers all the bases, from theory to reality. It addresses both the easy and the challenging realities of living an open adoption. The many personal stories make the book believable and useful for all kinds of situations. It is sometimes a bit dense, but it makes for a perfect reference manual.

Pact says: An important reference manual for many issues of open adoptions, from starting an open relationship to managing the ongoing issues of relationship as they develop over the years. Required reading for Pact parents.
Quantity

Parenting Adopted Adolescents: Understanding & Appreciating Their Journeys
By Gregory Keck, Edited by Lynda Mansfield
$17.99
Written in a casual, accessible style, Keck's underlying point is that all children who are adopted into their families must deal with the developmental issues of adolescence as well as adoption-related issues, either simultaneously or alternately. Keck mines his experience as a clinician and includes stories from his many years of practice. Keck's personal and professional experience allow him to write with expertise and a special sensitivity to teens who come from chaotic beginnings and have lived in multiple foster homes, and to the issues of young men, in particular.

Pact says: In one chapter, he simply lets teens and young adult adoptees (and their parents) speak for themselves. They explore topics ranging from life in multiple foster care placements to growing up as a transracial adoptee to one mother's bittersweet reflection as she sends her adopted daughter off to college. Beth Hall, Pact's Director, her children and several other Pact teens contributed to this volume.
Quantity

Spirit of Open Adoption, The
by James L. Gritter
$18.95
Viewing adoptive families as resources for birth families facing unplanned pregnancies, this book defines excellence in adoption by the replacement of fear, pain and shame with honor, respect, and reverence of each participant for one another. Open adoption is seen as a model built on candor, commitment, community, and cooperation. Gritter expresses deep concern about for-profit adoption and the lack of true excellence in services available.

Pact says: This book gives a compelling explanation of the why and reason open adoption is the "best" form of adoption we have today.
Quantity

Third Choice, The
by Gail Moscone and Leslie Foge
$15.95
There are few books in print for or about birth mothers that reflect a belief in the benefits of openness. This is the first book that accurately details the predictable emotional steps in the journey of placement, from the initial decision through common events during the first year after placement. Written in a warm, conversational tone and filled with the personal experiences, this book is engaging, respectful, and realistic.

Pact says: Finally! An intelligent guide for adults facing the complexities of placing a child for adoption.
Quantity

Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families
by Jayne Schooler, Betsy Keefer & Timothy Callahan
$17.99
How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families The book offers a detailed look at the importance of attachment and what happens to a child cognitively, psychologically and behaviorally when it does not take place. While the book is not without optimism, it is realistic about what parenting a traumatized child can be like and the impact it has on parents and families.

Pact says: The books strongest function is in providing an overall picture and a wealth of information about the possible issues and their root causes, as well as pointing out red flags, both in a child's behavior and in the dynamics of potential adoptive families.