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Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families by Patricia Irwin Johnston $26.95 This book explores the process of adopting as an emotional journey that begins with infertility and takes the reader through the decision making, preparation and experience of adopting. Pat does a great job of looking at the deeper issues and acknowledging the complexity of feelings and experience that are all part of adoption today. If you are not infertile or a single parent, don't be put off by the focus on couples communication and the grief of infertility in the first section, the other sections are well worth the read. Pact says: Pat is a good writer and well organized as she addresses the issues faced by adopting families. No one speaks more clearly or directly to and for this group. Required reading for waiting Pact families. |
Adoption and the Schools by Lansing Wood & Nancy Ng $25.00 Powerful advocacy for adopted school age kids. How to influence your children's schools toward adoption positive reflections. Includes sections on curriculum, homework, attitudes of teachers and administrators, challenges for adopted kids and more. Spiral bound so handouts can be reproduced and distributed to schools within your sphere of influence. Pact says: Highly recommended for the home library of every parent of an adopted child. A great book to help parents consciously addressthe school community. |
Adoption is a Family Affair by Patricia Johnston $14.00 Helping Friends and Extended Family Understand Adoption. Guidance for friends and extended family in interacting with adoptive families. Pact says: A wonderful tool to help extended family members and friends understand the needs and sensitivities of adoptive families. The writing style is clear and easy to read and the suggestions are practical and on target making this a perfect gift for anyone interacting with an adoptive family.
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Adoption Nation$16.00 Adoption Nation suggests ways our laws should be changed to improve the adoption process and remove the obstacles that keep the children who most need permanent homes from getting them. Pertman argues against adoptions for profit, points out common stereotypes about what adoption is and suggests positive ways that he believes adoption is changing society. Pact says: Adam is a good writer with a unique insight into the politics and media perceptions of adoption and how they matter to our families. |
Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah Gray $24.95 Specific information for matching emotional needs and stages of children with attachment disorder with parenting strategies. Covers emotional age versus chronological age, cultural change, drug and alcohol exposure, selecting professional help and more. Pact says: Using illustrative vignettes and underlying brain research, Deborah; offers practical ways to encourage attachement-challenged children to connect with their families. |
Because I Loved You: A Birthmother's View of Open Adoption by Patricia Dischler $16.95 This unique blend of Patricia's personal story (20 years post-placement) combined with her advice and research as to what expectant parents considering an adoption can anticipate at each stage of the process is very helpful because it goes beyond the placement to adulthood of the child placed for adoption. Patricia is careful to a fault not to overstep her boundaries by trespassing on her son's adoptive mother's territory, and she is thoughtful and articulate in her advice and insight. Pact says: The combination of personal and professional is refreshing and helpful. An engaging read. |
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky $14.00 Emphasizing adoption issues as viewed "through the eyes of adopted people," this book offers a sensitive and intelligent guide to developmental perspectives, normality, individuality, search for self, and loss, illustrating common passages and probing complex issues. Without suggesting that adoption is an endless "wound," the authors do argue that adoption is "an issue that emerges, seems to be settled, and then reemerges at some later point along life's path." Pact says: Excellent. This book is a powerful tool for all adoptive families, at any stage of pre or post-adoption. Blending theory, practicality and sensitivity, the author creates a clear understanding of the impact of an original separation from birth mom (even at the moment of birth) and provides clear and realistic structure for growing strong families. Normalizes developmental stages of growth for those who have been adopted. This is an evocative but straightforward book that is very popular with Pact families. |
Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted TeensBy Debbie Riley & John Meeks $19.95 This book gives clinicians and therapists insight into adopted teens and is an important new contribution to the field of adoption. Adopted teens are facing complex issues that require therapists and clinicians who are educated about their unique struggles. The authors identify six adolescent "stuck spots" and discuss some of the ways that therapists and parents can help children process the issues when they arise. Pact says: Directed to clinicians, this book is very useful to parents as
well - offering insight into what adopted teens are feeling. Excellent
resource! |
Birth Mothers by Mary Bloch Jones $18.95 70 women tell their stories of placing a baby into adoption; they include discovery of the pregnancy; birth and separation from the baby; relinquishment; later impact; raising other children; search; reunion; and more. Though the quality of the writing is mixed, each brief portrait is thoughtful and illuminates the courage and character of a mother who has placed her child for adoption. Pact says: Great reading for anyone interested in the birth parent experience. |
Birthrightby Jean Strauss $21.00 A Guide to Search and Reunion for Adoptees, Birthparents and Adoptive Parents This book is filled with storiesâ026direct quotes from adoptive parents, birth parents, and adopted people who have experienced search and reunion. Includes guidelines for beginning a search. Pact says: Jean is a great writer and this is a good overview of what to expect and how to handle both the emotional and logistical steps that are often involved. |
Child's Journey Through Placement, A by Vera Fahlberg $20.00 Understanding and supporting the child who has been placed in foster care or residential treatment. This book provides help for parents (birth, foster, and adoptive) and professionals (therapists, social workers, pediatricians, volunteers, and child advocates) supporting children who have experienced out-of-home care. Includes chapters on attachment and separation; child development; separation and loss; minimizing the trauma of moves; case planning; behavior problems; and direct work with children. Pact says: A classic and a Pact best seller. Highly recommended. |
Dear Birthmother, Thank You for Our Baby by Kathleen Silber $14.95 A collection of actual letters between adoptive parents and birth parents, and letters written by birth parents to their children, advocating for the benefits of openness and demonstrating, through the included letters, the ways in which initial - even though limited - openness provides the opportunity for increasing comfort and trust between birth parents and adoptive parents, to the benefit of the children loved by them all. Pact says: Recommended by the Child Welfare League of America and Pact.
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Family of Adoption, The by Joyce Maguire Pavao $16.00 An international expert as well as an adopted person, Joyce offers one of the clearest voices in the world of adoption, describing the deeper truths that often go unspoken. Reading her book is like listening to a wise friend; she links her personal experience with knowledge gleaned from many disciplines creating that elusive "ah ha" experience. If you do not know her work, we envy you your first read. Pact says: Reading Joyce Pavao's book is like listening to a wise friend; she links her personal experience with knowledge gleaned from many disciplines creating that elusive "ah ha" experience. If you do not know her work, we envy you your first read. |
Ghost At Heart's Edge: Stories & Poems of Adoption Ed. by Susan Ito and Tina Cervin $10.00 Poignant short pieces are arranged in sections that represent the adoption process: the period before adoption takes place, the transition period when the child moves from one family to another, how adoption affects childhood, identity issues for those who grow up adopted, and search and reunion with birth relatives. Pact says: A moving collection that dismantles adoption myths by showing adoption in all its complexity. |
Healing Parents: Helping Wounded Children Learn to Trust & Loveby Michael Orlans, Terry M. Levy $34.95 This book will be helpful to any parent who is struggling with parenting a "difficult" child. The author's philosophy is that a secure attachment provides the groundwork for a child's healthy sense of self, healthy relationships with others, and positive behavior. Pact says: This book offers parents support in understanding and addressing
issues, rather than didactic parenting prescriptions. The information will
be a welcome relief to any parent who is facing a child's seemingly
intractable behavior problems. |
How To Open An Adoption by Patricia Martinez Dorner $9.95 A guide toward opening adoptions for adoptive parents, birth parents of minors and professionals. This book covers the benefits of opening adoptions; the issues raised if the request is initiated by adoptive parents or birth parents; professional help; preparation for contact; the first visit; the role of commitment of all the adults; when there is inequality among adoptive siblings; reopening open adoptions and more. Pact says: Adopted children shouldn't have to wait until they are 18 years old to have their questions answered. Contact between birth parents and their adopted child allows the children to ask their questions directly and receive answers from the source.
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I Wish For You A Beautiful Life by Sharon Mathis $18.95 This collection of letters from birth mothers from the Ae Ran Won agency in Korea gives voices not often heard a chance to articulate their innermost emotions at the time of placement of their children for adoption. Hope that the children will have a positive life, sadness over personal losses, love for the children, and a level of guilt that sheds new light on what it is like to be a birth mother in Korea. Pact says: This book is not intended for children.
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Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness by Betty Jean Lifton $18.95 Asking why adopted adopted people feel alienated, unreal, invisible, unborn, this book offers psychological grounding for the deepest issues in adoption from the perspective of the adopted person. Lifton believes that only by restoring connection to the past can one move ahead with dignity and hope. Pact says: This book is groundbreaking in naming many of the experiences of adopted people as they search for themselves in the context of their dual identity.
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Launching a Baby's Adoption by Patricia Irwin Johnston $15.00 A clear and insightful look at the issues of infant adoption including the parent's history and past experiences with loss and expectations for the future, the child's genetic and prenatal heritage, naming, bonding, attachment, and birth parent contact. Pact says: As always, reading Pat's writing feels as effortless as listening to a warm but very intelligent voice in your ear, chatting easily about the things that matter most. Important information for prospective and new parents launching into a new life experience.
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Learning the Dance of Attachment by Holly van Gulden & Charlotte Vick $20.00 A small book that packs a huge punch. Filled with practical advice and specific suggestions for how to enhance attachment in children of all ages, this books is popular for all families that have worked with Holly or know her work. As a parent herself, Holly understands that attachment is a lifelong process of learning to trust and believe in the relationship of adoption. Pact says: The suggestions in this book give parents and children real encouragement as they solidify their mutual attachment, which leads to children behaving better and parents feeling confident. Really helpful, especially for families with challenging children. |
Lifebooks; Creating A Treasure For Your Child by Beth O'Malley $14.95 This book offers clear advice about how to create a lifebook with your child stressing its importance in strengthening self esteem and identity. Filled with examples and suggestions for difficult subject matter. Pact says: Because there has been a disconnection in the life of every
adopted child, even if adopted at birth, it is very helpful to have recorded
information about the personal history that is known. And remember, it is
never to late to create a lifebook with your child. Highly recommended. |
Making Room in Our Hearts: Keeping Family Ties Through Open Adoption by Micky Duxbury $19.95 Micky, a therapist as well as an adoptive parent (and Pact member!), interviewed hundreds of triad members about their life stories and experiences with open adoption. Her book helps both adoptive and birth parents address their fears and concerns while offering them the support to put the childâ019s needs at the center of adoption. Based on interviews with over one hundred adopted children, birth and adoptive parents, extended family, professionals and experts, this book is an effective and invaluable resource. Pact says: There is no other book that offers a compilation of first hand stories of families living with open adoption. Kudos! |
Making Sense of Adoption by Lois Melina $13.95 Cues for talking with children about adoption., the book includes chapters on how to begin; where did I come from?; why didn't they keep me?; what does being adopted say about me?; who am I?; I want to meet my birth parents; and why didn't you tell me? Pact says: An adoption classic designed particularly for families with closed adoptions.
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Mirrors & Windows, Using Books to Support Young Children
$5.00 This booklet, written by Pact for parents and teachers, is filled with helpful tips and information about using books with young children. When should you start reading to your child? What type of books are important to have at home or in the classroom? How can a book be used to as a conversation starter? What about kids who have difficulty reading? Windows and Mirrors answers these questions and more. Quantity Pricing:
Get one copy free when you order $50 or more in books. To request your free copy, please use the 'comments box' on the checkout form. |
Open Adoption Experience, The by Lois Melina & Sharon Kaplan Roszia $15.00 This book covers all the bases, from theory to reality. It addresses both the easy and the challenging realities of living an open adoption. The many personal stories make the book believable and useful for all kinds of situations. It is sometimes a bit dense, but it makes for a perfect reference manual. Pact says: An important reference manual for many issues of open adoptions, from starting an open relationship to managing the ongoing issues of relationship as they develop over the years. Required reading for Pact parents.
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Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky $22.00 Keck and Kupecky welcome parents of children with attachment issues to a world of easy to grasp ideals and practical ideas. In smart, honest and everyday language they describe families-in-process; families where parents are not to blame for their children's problems but are responsible for doing as much as they can to help their kids grow beyond difficult beginnings. Pact says: A really helpful guide for parents of challenging children. |
Real Parents, Real Children by Holly van Gulden $19.95 Want to know what your kids are thinking/feeling about their adoption? Want great ideas about how to talk to them from infancy on? This is a book about some of adoptive life's essential moments, those instances when, in a split-second of time, you're called upon to tackle some central questions and problems. Pact says: While there are many must-reads in books about adoption, we think Holly offers insights no adoptive parent can do without. Highly recommended. A Pact bestseller.
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Shared Fate by H. David Kirk $13.50 Shared Fate is a groundbreaking classic examination of the mystiques surrounding adoption. Originally written in 1964, this book stands the test of time. Kirk helps us understand how adoptive families are different and then shows how to make that an asset. Pact says: This book is a must read for parents and professionals.
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Spirit of Open Adoption, The by James L. Gritter $18.95 Viewing adoptive families as resources for birth families facing unplanned pregnancies, this book defines excellence in adoption by the replacement of fear, pain and shame with honor, respect, and reverence of each participant for one another. Open adoption is seen as a model built on candor, commitment, community, and cooperation. Gritter expresses deep concern about for-profit adoption and the lack of true excellence in services available. Pact says: This book gives a compelling explanation of the why and reason open adoption is the "best" form of adoption we have today. |
Talking With Young Children About Adoption by Mary Watkins & Susan Fischer $19.00 What does your child understand about adoption? This book is filled with practical guidance and examples of what to say when. Pact says: The best book available to offer clear direction on how to listen rather than tell. Though the author's point is to understand what children are thinking rather than to hand them a politically correct doctrine of adoption thinking, we still find it troubling that no discussion of birth parent stories is included, yet still the book is extremely valuable |
Third Choice, The by Gail Moscone and Leslie Foge $15.95 There are few books in print for or about birth mothers that reflect a belief in the benefits of openness. This is the first book that accurately details the predictable emotional steps in the journey of placement, from the initial decision through common events during the first year after placement. Written in a warm, conversational tone and filled with the personal experiences, this book is engaging, respectful, and realistic. Pact says: Finally! An intelligent guide for adults facing the complexities of placing a child for adoption. |
Toddler Adoption by Mary Hopkins Best $15.00 Practical, realistic and supportive advice for adoptive parents of kids adopted as toddlers. Pact says: Best's discussion of the factors that make adopting a toddler different from adopting either infants or older children with special needs is thorough, well grounded, and a good read. We strongly recommend it.
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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherry Eldrridge $15.00 Eldridge says that "buried feelings caused by the loss of birth family must be identified and grieved or the child's ability to receive and give love will be diminished. The parental challenge is to learn the 20 unspoken feelings, create a nonjudgmental atmosphere for the child to grieve and cheer the child on." Pact says: This is a unique and perceptive treatment of the core issues of adoption from a child's view and gives a clear voice to feelings not easily articulated. |
Your Rights & Responsibilities$5.95 An excellent resource that explains the rights and responsibilities of birth parents after an adoptive placement. Pact says: Brenda's unique voice-she is a birth parent who advocates for birth parent's rights- brings a clear message to all the parents of an adopted child; the adoptive parents and the birth parents. Her clear point is that birth parents have responsibility as their child grows, not for parenting but for maintaining connection. Highly recommended.
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