Please find some of our best articles, essays and reviews on this topic.
Birth mothers, fathers, sisters and families (sometimes called first mothers and families) are perhaps the most underrepresented voice in adoption. Topics include managing contact between birth and adoptive parents, navigating relationships with adopted children, and deciding whether open adoption or closed adoption serves children and parents best. Feelings inherent to the experience of placing a child for adoption or losing a child to adoption are explored, including grief, anger, loss, and guilt, along with stories that include search and reunion.
Pact offers an array of support services for expectant and birth parents, available free of charge. If you are in the process of deciding whether adoption is right for you and your baby, Pact can help you understand all of your options, whether or not you finally choose adoption. If adoption is the best choice for you and your baby, we can help you find an adoptive family for your child of color, and we’ll talk with you about the benefits of an open adoption so you can stay in touch with your child. Continuing support and education about the lifelong issues of adoption is available to birth parents after placement. Become a member of Pact to receive our newsletter, Pact’s Point of View, which includes a regular column “Ask a First/Birth Parent” and other articles written by birth parents and adopted adults. Pact members receive a discount at our online bookstore, which features carefully selected books on the birth parent experience and other aspect of adoption. While many of Pact's services and programs for birth parents are focused on the placement process, we do strive to connect birth parents with blogs and other online resources that will be useful post-placement, in addition to our ongoing support services.
Click to view videos related to Birth Parents, Birth Families in Adoption.
For more topics and articles, check out our full listing on our Resource Library. If you prefer, you can use our Library Search Tool to search by title or author. All the material in this section is copyrighted by Pact; for permission to reproduce or re-post it, please contact us at education@pactadopt.org.
Birth Parents, Birth Families in Adoption Articles
- "Dont
You Dare Repeat Any of This" Thoughts of Adoption By An Adoptee-By-The-Sea
by Joyce Maguire Pavao (1997 | 328 KB | )
- 5
Stages of the Adoption Process
by Pact (2011 | 536 KB | )
- A
Biblical View of Adoption
by Chené Tucker, MSW, LCSW (1994 | 107 KB | )
- A
Birth Grandparents Perspective Gone Too Soon
by Mary Stephenson (1993 | 338 KB | )
- A
Day In My Life
by Amanda Kirby (1997 | 66 KB | )
- A
Long Journey Home
by Molly McCullough (2008 | 351 KB | )
- About
Concerned United Birthparents
by Bonnie Bis (1998 | 116 KB | )
- Adopting
Again: Talking to the Other children in the Home
an interview with Sharon Kaplan Roszia (2001 | 89 KB | )
- Adoption
Means Having Two Family Legacies
by Francie Portnoy (2004 | 99 KB | )
- Adoption
and Genetics: Why We Need To Pay Attention
by E. Kay Trimberger (2011 | 125 KB | )
- Adoption
Candle Ceremony
adapted from FAIR (2009 | 70 KB | )
- Adoption
Loss: A Birth Mother Remembers
by Debra Baker (2011 | 112 KB | )
- Adoption
Milestones
by Susan Soon-keum Cox (2000 | 69 KB | )
- Adoptive
Parents and Expectant Parents Alike: Preparing for a Healthy, Lifelong
Relationship
by Leslie Foge, MA, MFT (2012 | 128 KB | )
- All
of Nathans Family
by Pamela, Barbara, Suzanne & John (1997 | 91 KB | )
- All
This Time
by Paul Kamm & Eleanor MacDonald (2009 | 319 KB | )
- Ambiguous
Loss
by Jae Ran Kim (2008 | 111 KB | )
- and
Many a Tear Will Fall
by Sharon Kelly (1998 | 101 KB | )
- Ask
a First Mother: Who are Adoptive Childrens Forever Parents?
by Susan Dusza Guerra Leksander (2012 | 456 KB | )
- Ask
Pact Is There Something Wrong With Me?
by Pact (2010 | 327 KB | )
- Ask
Pact: Is Our 12-Year-Old Too Young To Find Her Birth Mother?
by Pact (2007 | 116 KB | )
- Ask
Pact: Keeping it "Real," How to Talk About All Your Childs Parents
(2011 | 119 KB | )
- Ask
Pact: Talking About Birth Parents
by Martha Rynberg (2008 | 156 KB | )
- Ask
Pact: Talking with a Preschooler about Birth Parents
(2011 | 119 KB | )
- Ask
Pact: Unexpected Birth Parent Contact
by Pact (2008 | 121 KB | )
- Attachment
and the School Age Child
by David Brodzinsky (2010 | 89 KB | )
- Baby,
We Were Meant for Each Other: In Praise of Adoption
by Scott Simon, Reviewed by Aaryn Belfer (2012 | 113 KB | )
- Bastard
Nation - Whats In a Name
by Damsel Plum (1998 | 121 KB | )
- Being
a Birth Father
by David Leymone Jones (2000 | 51 KB | )
- Being
A Mommy - A Birth Parent Story
by Marta Barton (2005 | 99 KB | )
- Birth
Father Story
by Paul Weber (2919 | 139 KB | )
- Birth
Mother Survey
(1997 | 96 KB | )
- Birth
Parent Loss and Grief
by Patricia E. Roles (1997 | 115 KB | )
- Birth
Parent Profile - My Secret Life
Michelle Cabrerra (1997 | 124 KB | )
- Birth
Parents - Victims of Adoption?
by Candace Kunz (1997 | 110 KB | )
- Book
Review: Forever Fingerprints
by Sherrie Eldridge (2007 | 86 KB | )
- Book
Review: Lucky Girl
by Mei-Ling Hopgood (2010 | 183 KB | )
- Book
Review: Sams Sister
by Juliet Bond (2003 | 75 KB | )
- Book
Review: The Colours in Me: Writing & Poetry by Adopted Children & Youth
Edited by Perlita Harris (2009 | 412 KB | )
- Book
Review: The English American
by Alison Larkin (2008 | 304 KB | )
- Book
Review: The Third Choice
by Leslie Foge and Gail Mosconi (2004 | 933 KB | )
- Book
Review: We See The Moon
by Carrie Kitze (2003 | 76 KB | )
- Borders
of Belonging
by Sofia Arroyo (2008 | 309 KB | )
- Changes
in the Open Relationship
by Candace Kunz (1992 | 95 KB | )
- Changes
in the Open Relationship
by Candace Kunz (1992 | 95 KB | )
- Choosing
Adoption for One Child and Not Another
by Brenda Romanchik (1995 | 334 KB | )
- Considering
Placing a Child for Adoption: Thank You for Listening & Thoughts on Birth
Motherhood
by Susan Ledesma & Joy Retzlaff (2010 | 310 KB | )
- Different
Birth Families of Adopted Siblings
by Pam Hutsell (1994 | 110 KB | )
- Directors
Corner: Did I Cry Too Much?
by Beth Hall (2009 | 384 KB | )
- Directors
Corner: Evolving Conversations Should Parents Initiate Talk about Adoption or
Wait for their Childs Questions?
by Beth Hall & Gail Steinberg (2010 | 104 KB | )
- Directors
Corner: Getting Over It and Stepping It Up
by Beth Hall (2011 | 130 KB | )
- Directors
Corner: Naming NATE
by Beth Hall & Gail Steinberg (2009 | 572 KB | )
- Directors
Corner: Remember When I Came Out of Daddys Tummy?
by Beth Hall & Gail Steinberg (2009 | 616 KB | )
- Exploring
Openness - Inter Country Style
by Sue Douglas (1992 | 118 KB | )
- Family
Stories: Carnegie & Sons
by Pact (2009 | 130 KB | )
- Family
Stories: Surprise Adoption
by Jill Rege (2008 | 956 KB | )
- Family
Stories: What Sophia Needed, Open Hearts, Open Minds
(2011 | 1.85 MB | )
- Feelings
of Love, Feelings of Pain
by Kim Malcolm (1992 | 94 KB | )
- Film
Review: Foster Parents Speak: Crossing Bridges and Fostering Change
by Photosythesis Productions (2009 | 469 KB | )
- Fine
Tuning Openness: Tools for Managing Relationships Between Birth and Adoptive
Families
by Adele Jones (2004 | 108 KB | )
- Four
Lifelong Issues in Adoption
by Beth Hall and Gail Steinberg (2007 | 116 KB | )
- From
A Birth Mother
by Victoria Tittle (1995 | 95 KB | )
- Grief
and Open Adoption
by Candace Kunz (1992 | 94 KB | )
- I
Never Thought of It Before - I Was Someone Else Before I Was Me
by Lori Clemmons (1997 | 112 KB | )
- Is
it Private or Is it Secret? Sorting Out What to Tell Whom
by Pat Irwin Johnston, MS (2011 | 125 KB | )
- Kinship
Style - Open, Closed, or Shifting
by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall (1994 | 104 KB | )
- Letter
From a Birth Father
by David Jones (1997 | 107 KB | )
- Letter
to the Editor - Mothers Day
by Janet Herring-Sherman (1994 | 95 KB | )
- Living
An Open Adoption
by Jennifer Ferrara (1997 | 120 KB | )
- Losing
Lauren
by Rachel Angeline (1994 | 324 KB | )
- My
Dog Story
by Penny Callan Partridge (1997 | 301 KB | )
- Never
by Ellwyn Kauffman (2010 | 304 KB | )
- Nine
and A Half Months
by Allison Towle (1995 | 109 KB | )
- On
Feeling Insignificant
by Jane Calbreath (1997 | 103 KB | )
- Open
Adoption Relationships
by Becca Martinson (1992 | 111 KB | )
- Open
Adoptions Navigating Our Differences
by Jim Gritter (2004 | 95 KB | )
- Openness
In Adoption
by Pact (2010 | 52 KB | )
- Pact
Family Stories: Up Close and Personal with Jamie Lee Curtis - an Interview with
an Adoptive Mom
Interviewed by Gail Steinberg (1997 | 413 KB | )
- Parenting
the Next Time
by Brenda Romanchik (1997 | 325 KB | )
- Please
Tell Me What I Should Do?
by Lynn Lape (1996 | 111 KB | )
- Promoting
Understanding of Adoption Issues
by Patricia Irwin Johnston (1993 | 337 KB | )
- Regret
by Gillian J. Freney (2011 | 121 KB | )
- Rejoice
in What Unites Us - Creating Kinship Systems
by Beth Hall and Gail Steinberg (1994 | 110 KB | )
- Rosas
Story: Adoption Then and Now Doing the Right Thing for the Wrong Reasons
Anonymous (1997 | 85 KB | )
- So
You Want To Open Your Childs Adoption
by Leslie Foge (2004 | 332 KB | )
- Speaking
of Birth Parents
by Marta Barton and Beth Hall (2000 | 125 KB | )
- Stepping
Out of the Shadows: Birth Fathers Speak Out
by Mary Martin Mason (1995 | 330 KB | )
- Still
Parenting After All These Years
by Gail Steinberg (1992 | 96 KB | )
- Synchronicity:
The Sparks of Reunion
by LaVonne Stiffler (1997 | 336 KB | )
- Taking
Somebodys Baby
by Becca Martinson (1996 | 124 KB | )
- Talking
to Your Adopted Adolescent about Adoption
by Randolph W. Severson (1995 | 334 KB | )
- Teen
Corner: A Letter From My Heart
by Melissa Cunningham (2010 | 327 KB | )
- Teen
Corner: Adopted Teens Speak Out
by Pact Teen Club (2009 | 373 KB | )
- Teen
Corner: Dominiques Journey
by Dominique Parker (2005 | 94 KB | )
- Teen
Corner: Mission Possible
by Rabia Cons (2008 | 83 KB | )
- Teen
Corner: Picture Me
by Sofia Arroyo (2005 | 72 KB | )
- The
Best Support
by Carol Schaefer (1992 | 313 KB | )
- The
Bodys Wisdom
by Carol Schaefer (1995 | 324 KB | )
- The
Dance of Trust
by Becca Martinson (1992 | 104 KB | )
- The
Missing Voice in the Professional Community
by Candace Kunz (1996 | 115 KB | )
- The
Name Game
by Jae Ran Kim (2007 | 327 KB | )
- The
Optimal Adoptive Launch
by Michael D. Trout (1994 | 346 KB | )
- The
Real Daughter
by Colleen Houlihan (1994 | 106 KB | )
- The
Rights of Fathers in Prospective Infant Adoptions
by Jon Ryan (1998 | 117 KB | )
- Twice
a Mother - Unexpected Paths
by Rachel Angeline (1997 | 109 KB | )
- Two
Stories of Reunion
A Review by Susan Ito (2011 | 122 KB | )
- Unconditional
Love
Maria Felipa (1998 | 94 KB | )
- Union
and Transitions: A Ceremony of Entrustment
by Rebecca Weller (1997 | 346 KB | )
- Unknown
- I Was Adopted
by Liza Steinberg (1996 | 106 KB | )
- When
Do You Follow When Do You Lead - Talking to Children About Adoption
by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall (2002 | 127 KB | )
- Which
Comes First?
by Lynn Lape (1994 | 108 KB | )
Birth Parents, Birth Families in Adoption Videos
The Importance of Talking About Birth Parents
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Secrecy Versus Privacy when Talking about Adoption
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Appropriate Terminology to use when Discussing Adoption
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